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your children

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If you are being abused by your partner/ex-partner, your children are likely to be affected. They may also be abused by your partner, or they may be hurt trying to protect you. Even if they are not hurt directly, they will almost certainly be aware of what is going on, however hard you try to hide the abuse. Sometimes abusive men use the children as part of the abuse by trying to turn them against you. This can be very distressing for you and the children.
It is important to remember that you are not responsible for the abuse. Your abusive partner is responsible. But you are responsible for getting help both for your own sake and for the sake of your children. You will not be blamed for asking for help.
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It can be very hard to decide what is the best thing to do. Many women leave abusive partners because of the abuse, and many women stay with abusive partners ‘for the sake of the children’. But children will feel more secure with one parent in a stable environment than with two parents where there is abuse. It may be hard to meet your own needs as well as your children’s needs so it is important to ask for help. There are many services which can help.

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